"Say what you have to say, and not what you ought."
~ Henry David Thoreau

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Summer So Far

How does so much time get away from me? I've had great intentions of chronicling my summer activities but haven't done a good job of that, obviously. To catch things up, here's a recap of this summer so far. 

May was busy as always with end of school year activities, getting my  new raised garden bed that Mike built me planted, potting flowers, a visit from my mom and a visit to Colorado over Memorial Day. 
Gillian won 2nd place in the District Festival of the Arts
She also had her first broken bone--a broken wrist from falling off a long board
Mom said she would help me with my gardening. This is how she helped. 
She did  at least dig out some vinca vine and made sure I captured it on camera.
Upper right - my garden just after planting in May.
Lower left - my garden today. Our tortoise loves having garden fresh lettuce.
My dogs ignore my posted warning. Luckily, I haven't had a similar problem with sailors.
Lunch at a former Colorado Springs school building now called the Principal's Office
with my cousin Michelle and my mom.
Another one from the Principal's Office. 
May was over before I knew it and June has turned out to be as full as May. In mid-June Mike, Gillian and I traveled to Boulder, Utah for the weekend to attend my older brother's wedding. It deserves an entire blog post, but for now I'll say it was the best wedding I've ever been to. It was the perfect mix of sophisticated, casual, country and lots of fun! Here are a some pictures.
In between work, traveling, yard work and the many activities that happen all summer long I have managed to set aside some time for relaxing on my back patio sipping Mojitos with friends. I have a handy supply of mint growing in the planter boxes that Mike made for me. I do love summer evenings on my patio! 
Lucy enjoying the summer sunshine.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Saying Goodbye to Grandma

I've been absent from the blogosphere for so long that I may have lost all of my followers. If not, I'm finally able to spend some time catching up on every one's lives and put down some words about what has been going on in my world. Summer has been busy so far with both work and play. I'll recap the last month and a half in a separate post.

Me with grandma & grandpa - 2008
The past few weeks have been a time of mourning and saying goodbye to my grandma, or Grandma Chris as most of us grand kids have always called her. Grandma Chris is my dad's mother, Gloria Marie Christiansen. The family said goodbye to grandma on Tuesday at her funeral following her death a week ago.

Grandma's death wasn't unexpected. She became ill several weeks ago and was put on home hospice care. When I first found this out I felt a little panicked. I knew I'd have to face her death sooner rather than later, but when I was actually confronted with it I didn't feel at all prepared. My dad, aunts, grandpa and uncles were all taking turns being with her 24/7. None of us expected her to last more than a week. Emotions were high on my first visit  after she was put on hospice. I walked into the house not knowing what to expect. I was scared. What would I say? How would she look? How on earth was I supposed to say goodbye? I sat next to her bed, holding her hand while tears streamed down my face, barely able to talk. Seeing my grandpa so sad made it even harder. When I left I was thankful for the chance to see and talk to my sweet grandma, but I was also completely grief-stricken at the thought of her no longer being a part of my life. 

For the next several days and nights I waited, expecting a call at anytime telling me that she was gone. The call never came. I sent my dad frequent texts asking for updates. I probably drove him crazy with my constant need for information. I was going to be going out of town for a few days, so I visited again before leaving town. Things were much better on that visit. Grandma was frail, but she was talking. We visited about everyday things--talking about my grandpa's garden, the weather, what I was up to in my life, just regular stuff. Not a single tear was shed. It felt like so many other past visits to grandma and grandpa's. My dad, grandpa, aunts and uncles were just down the hall, gathered in the living room laughing and sharing stories, teasing each other like they always have. I stayed for over an hour just soaking it all in, enjoying every moment. I left town feeling very at peace. Things were just as they should be. Grandma was home, in her own bed with her husband and children there with her. She was being cared for in the most tender, loving, gracious, way possible. 

Heading into her third week of hospice care when I returned from my trip, amazingly, not much had changed. I was lucky enough to get one more visit with grandma, spending a couple of hours with her and grandpa so my dad and aunt could have a break. Did my dad  know how much I needed more time with her? What a gift that time was. Those are treasured hours for me, very precious memories. Grandma and I talked about so many things. She was happy and smiling, even kind of silly. Grandpa and I watched Gunsmoke in between checking on grandma. I smile just thinking of that night. I'll be forever thankful for that time with her. 

Grandma died the next night. I was able to say one last goodbye during her last hour. I said my goodbye with absolutely no regrets. She knew how much she meant to me--how deeply I loved her--and I know how much she loved me. I was lucky enough to have her in my life for 44 years. I am so grateful for the beautiful, dignified death she had. My sadness and grief is softened by knowing how well she was loved at the end. I'm in awe of the way my dad and his siblings took care of grandma non-stop for over three weeks. I witnessed absolute devotion as my grandpa took tender, loving care of his wife of 70 years. Her death proved to me you really do get back what you put out into the world. Grandma died as she deserved to, with all the love she had spent her life giving others being returned to her ten-fold. 
Gillian with her great-grandma 
Keicha Marie, Gloria Marie and Gillian Marie
Valentine's Day 2013