"Say what you have to say, and not what you ought."
~ Henry David Thoreau



Sunday, July 22, 2012

Lawyers, Guns and Money


Along with the rest of the country, I awoke on Friday to the news that 12 innocent people in Colorado had been murdered, shot to death, by a lone gunman.  I digested the details of the shootings with a sick feeling in my stomach and deep sadness in my heart.  I listened to the President and his words of condolence and comfort, I read news reports and online blogs, but mostly I just stewed.  My stewing soon turned to anger. I know the routine: people across the country are sad and horrified about yet another massacre of innocent people.  They’ll shake their heads, shed a few tears, post about what kind of sicko murders people in cold blood, and then in a few weeks it will all be a distant memory.  Americans won’t rise up and join forces, harnessing their outrage and sadness into action, demanding stricter gun control laws. Despite overwhelming public support for stricter gun control regulations, nothing changes.  When it comes to gun control, our country is in a stalemate, and has been for a long time, unwilling to discuss common sense measures that will save lives. 

Not long ago, I was one of those people that watched the news, shook my head, muttered that something needs to change, and then went on with my life.  I’m no longer that person.  The last two years have changed me.  Senseless and needless loss of life, in any form, for any reason, is something I can’t ignore, especially when there are practical ways to prevent such unnecessary losses. 

I’m not naïve or unaware that gun control is a controversial topic, nor that the NRA is one of the most powerful special interest groups in the country, heavily influencing both public policy and opinion.  In 2005, a poll of congressional insiders by the National Journal reported that Democrats considered them the most effective lobbying group on Capitol Hill, while Republicans ranked them as #2.  Their political power and influence can’t be denied.  In fact, next week when the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) is in Salt Lake City for their Annual Meeting, they’ll be treated to a shooting party hosted by the NRA.  The thing is, I guess I am naïve or idealistic enough to believe that even such powerful forces like the NRA can be defeated, or at least their power and influence can be lessened.  I don’t think advocating for stricter gun control laws is an exercise in futility, given that 70 percent of Americans favor a ban on semiautomatic assault weapons. 

The arguments from gun control opponents do nothing to sway me.  Why would I be swayed by mindless rhetoric designed to obfuscate?  Hearing variations on the same old justifications such as “Guns don’t kill people.  People kill people”, “An armed society is a polite society”, and my personal favorite “When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.”  Please! Why are people so willing to be puppets of a cynical, powerful, special interest group?  The lack of independent, critical thinking given to such an important public safety issue scares me.  Why can’t there be more intelligent, thoughtful discussion backed up by facts?

First, I’m not advocating outlawing guns or taking away anybody’s constitutional right to bear arms.  Let’s just take that argument off the table right out of the gates, since the Supreme Court ruled in the 2nd Amendment case District of Columbia v. Heller that banning handguns was unconstitutional.  In Justice Antonin Scalia’s majority opinion, he stated the amendment “elevates above all other interests the right of law-abiding, responsible citizens to use arms in defense of hearth and home.”  Since the 2nd amendment right to keep and bear arms is a moot point, why not have a discussion about strengthening gun laws in order to keep guns out of the wrong hands?  Seems reasonable to me. 

As for the “Guns don’t kill people.  People kill people” argument, I agree with iconic rocker Ozzy Osbourne. “I keep hearing this *&%#$@* thing that guns don’t kill people, but people kill people.  If that’s the case, why do we give people guns when they go to war?  Why not just send the people?”  Guns are weapons, designed to kill.  Guns enable people to kill.  This argument is so ridiculous, especially when the same sort of logic is applied to other inanimate objects that can also cause death.  Cars don’t kill people, but plenty of people driving cars kill people.  Cars and drivers are heavily regulated and licensed, because the wrong people, driving unsafe cars most definitely present a risk of death.  How about lawn darts?  Fairly innocuous and safe in and of themselves, right?  But people kill people with lawn darts.  In fact, lawn darts were outlawed in 1988 after three children were killed when playing with them outdoors.  The effort to outlaw them was led by Representative John Dingell of Michigan, who pushed the Consumer Product Safety Commission to outlaw lawn darts.  Strangely, he’s a strong opponent of imposing safety standards on guns, despite the fact that between 1996-2000, an average of 270 children and teens died from unintentional shootings, and four times that number were injured.  Amazingly, no federal agency has the power to set safety standards for guns, test them for safety or recall defective guns. 

How about licensing gun owners, another measure that many are vehemently opposed to?  The argument is that owners who keep a gun, or guns, in their home for self defense shouldn’t have to be licensed.  However, many unintentional shootings occur in the home.  A 1998 study, Injuries and Deaths Due to Firearms in the Home showed that guns in the home were four times more likely to be involved in accidents than to be used to injure or kill for self defense. 

Another part of the gun violence equation that doesn’t get much attention is gun suicide.  The New England Journal of Medicine published a study by Dr. Arthur Kellerman and his colleagues that showed having a gun in the home increases suicide risk by nearly five times.  Sixty percent of suicide deaths of youth under the age of nineteen are committed using firearms, making firearms the most common method of suicide among adolescents.  Training on safety, including safe gun handling and storage practices, along with education about the increased risks posed by having guns in the home could reduce the number of unintentional shootings and youth suicides.   

Guns are lethal weapons, with a unique capability to inflict fatal damage compared to other weapons.  Sure there are plenty of other weapons that when put in the hands of someone determined to maim or injure another, will cause injury, or even death.  Simply because guns aren’t the only weapon that can be used to cause harm doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be subject to greater regulation.  Time and again, studies have proven the greater lethality of guns over other weapons.  Guns are used in only four percent of all felonies, including non-violent offenses.  In felonies that include threatened or actual bodily injury, the use of guns jumps to 20 percent.  In homicides, guns are involved 70 percent of the time.  People kill people more often with guns, period. 

There are those that suggest people who use guns vs. other weapons to harm others, or themselves, are more determined to kill.  Studies have disproven this.  George Zimring analyzed assaults in Chicago for a one-month period in 1967, looking at the location and number of wounds inflicted, which he used to judge the seriousness and intent of the assailants.  His findings showed that 77 percent of knife attacks reflected an intent to cause serious injury or death, while only 60 percent of gun attacks showed the same intent.  He said “nothing about the data suggest that the average knife attack is any less seriously intended than the average gun attack”.  Gun attacks were more lethal than knife attacks, which shows their greater lethality, not a greater deadly intent than those that attack with knives.  He concluded, “if knives were substituted for guns, the homicide rate would drop significantly.”

As for suicides, the use of a gun doesn’t necessarily show a greater determination to die.  A study in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania analyzed over 1,000 suicides and 1,600 attempted suicides.  Attempted suicides with a gun resulted in death 92 percent of the time.  Only 4 percent who attempt using a knife or other sharp object succeed. The same study found that those who attempt suicide with a gun are actually less likely to later complete suicide by any other means than those who unsuccessfully try using other methods.  So, although gunshot is the most lethal suicide method, it only ranks 6th as a predictor of future suicide.  6.25 percent of those who attempt suicide with a gun later complete suicide using some method.  4.83 percent who attempt suicide by cutting themselves later complete the act.  These numbers show a slightly greater determination by those who attempt with a gun vs. other means, but don’t account for the huge difference in lethal outcomes (92 percent vs. 4 percent).  Simply put, guns are more lethal than other weapons.  This is especially tragic when it comes to guns and teen suicide.  In Nebraska hospitals in 2003, 553 children were treated for self-inflicted injuries or suicide attempts.  386 children who swallowed pills or poison were discharged.  Only three who used guns were discharged.  The rest went to the morgue.  Dr. David Grossman, a Seattle pediatrician and researcher starkly points out, “If we can get them to take pills instead of a gun, it is more likely to turn a suicide into a suicide attempt.”

Lastly, I’ll address the “When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns” argument, which suggests that gun control is futile because only law-abiding citizens would obey such laws, leaving law-abiding people defenseless against armed criminals.  Laws such as the Brady Act don’t rely on compliance by criminals.  Instead, their effectiveness comes from compliance by licensed dealers selling guns.   People will argue that those determined to buy guns to commit crimes will buy them using illegal means.  Which some do.  However, since the Brady Act has been in place, 1.5 million prohibited gun buyers have tried to buy guns from gun stores. 

Alternative sources for guns, such as criminals buying them “off the street” exist, and gaping loopholes in existing laws make these sources possible.  Rather than using this as justification against gun control, why not use it as a reason to strengthen existing controls and close loopholes?  Laws such as Virginia’s one-gun-a-month law do this.  Multiple purchases of guns by a single buyer have long been a clue to law enforcement that the buyer intends to traffic guns illegally on the black market.  Before this law was enacted, 35 percent of all guns coming from the Southeast and traced in the Northeast came from Virginia gun shops.  Not long after the law went into effect, only 16 percent of southeastern guns traced to crime in the northeast came from Virginia. 

Guns trafficked illegally don’t just show up out of nowhere.  There is a connection between legal gun sales and illegal trafficking.  The ATF has found that crime guns recovered within three years of their last retail sale is a “significant indicator” that the gun was trafficked out of a gun shop.  There is a flood of guns moving quickly from retail gun shops into the illegal market.  In a study of 27 communities in which guns recoverd in crimes were traced, the ATF found that between 32 and 49 percent of guns recovered from individuals aged 18-24 had been sold by a retail dealer or pawnshop less than three years before.  Many other loopholes exist which can easily be controlled or eliminated by common sense gun control laws that will have no impact on those who own weapons for self-defense, sporting and hunting activities, or collecting. 

My hope is that the flurry of outrage and emotion resulting from the Aurora, Colorado shootings will cause people to demand that our country’s political leaders stop pandering to special interest groups like the NRA and make some long overdue changes to our gun control laws.  In 2003, at a celebration marking the 10-year anniversary of the Brady Act, then President Bill Clinton talked about the disconnect between the gun lobby’s arguments and reality.  This is all about getting people to stop thinking.  Ignoring the human consequences of a practical problem.”  He continued, “But the human consequences are quite severe, because the landscape of our recent history is littered with the bodies of people [who] couldn’t be protected, under sensible gun laws that wouldn’t have had a lick of impact on the hunters of sportsmen of this country.”

That was nine years ago.  The human consequences are still being ignored.  It’s beyond time for that to change.  

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Memories Aflame


I’m not a Colorado native, but my mom is a third generation native, so love and feelings of connection to Colorado runs deep in my veins.  Which is why watching the destruction caused by the now 14,000+ acre wildfire raging in Colorado Springs breaks my heart.
Colorado is my second home, and Colorado Springs especially looms large in my life and in memories I cherish.  I am familiar with its history, legends, landmarks and lore as I am with those of my own hometown.   


My mom was born and spent her early childhood years in Colorado Springs.  Her grandparents and many of her cousins lived nearby.  I have early, vague memories of visiting my great-grandmother’s house in downtown Colorado Springs.  Through the years, I’ve walked the same sidewalks that my mom did when she was young, looking at the house where she grew up, visiting the church my grandparents were married in, where my grandma sang in the choir, and where my mom, uncle and aunts attended Sunday School when they were young.  Old black and white pictures of family members show them standing in front of homes and buildings in Colorado Springs, or on picnics and camping outings in the mountains outside the city.  “Springs” as locals call it, is part of my family.   My mom said it best in this blog post about the fire with these words, "Truly, the backdrop of my earliest days, the beloved skyline of my life,  is on fire.  I am heartbroken."


From as far back as I can remember visits to Colorado have been a regular part of my life’s rhythm.  Summer vacations and many Thanksgivings, Christmases and other holidays were spent there.  I associate Colorado with celebration and family.  Colorado Springs especially holds a kind of magical charm for me, and the days and weeks before a trip there made me giddy with anticipation. There was so much to do and see, not to mention my favorite cousin, Michelle, was there!  Colorado was where I chose to celebrate my milestone 40th birthday, surrounded by many I love, marked by visits to places I cherish. 


Summertime meant extended stays in Colorado, with weeks on end spent at my Aunt Suzy’s house or Michelle’s, or some combination of both.  When I was in Junior High, my mom moved from Utah to Colorado Springs, and the Springs really did become my second home.  


Summer visits to Springs were never complete without at least a few outings to Manitou Springs and Garden of the Gods. These are two of the areas most affected by the fires.  Residents of Manitou Springs were some of the first to be evacuated.  Drinking Manitou water, which is really nasty, but supposedly has healing properties, is a rite of passage for children in our family.  The arcade at Manitou was a favorite hangout of my cousins and me when we were teenagers. Getting our pictures taken in the photo booth was a must on every visit there.  Last summer, a 4th generation of children in our family was introduced to Manitou Springs and its traditions, as I spent a fun afternoon there with many of my family.  



Manitou Photo Booth fun with my cousin Michelle
Gillian's first taste of Manitou Water
Garden of the Gods is another Colorado Springs landmark that is deeply ingrained in my memories.  Growing up I remember reading Packy Climbs Pike's Peak, a book about a packrat that lived in Garden of the Gods in the winter and on Pikes Peak in the summer.  Many summer picnics with my cousins took place in Garden of the Gods.  Driving through the park we’d all compete to see who could catch the first glimpse of the Kissing Camels.  Then as we’d drive by Balancing Rock we’d all hold our breath, because if we didn’t the precariously balanced rock might come crashing down on our car!  As soon as the cars were parked we’d all burst outside and immediately scamper onto the red rock formations.  While we climbed, our mom’s would go buy candy rocks from the gift shop and then try to fool us into thinking they were eating rocks.  Lame!  We were never fooled, but we enjoyed watching them act like fools in an effort to entertain us.  On double dates with my cousin Michelle, we again returned to Garden of the Gods with our boyfriends to climb and play. There might even have been some making out in the car parked under the stars and soaring red cliffs, but I won’t confirm or deny that.  

Balancing Rock in Garden of the Gods
Kissing Camels in Garden of the Gods

Glen Eyrie Castle

Glen Eyrie, the castle/home built by the founder of Colorado Springs, General William J. Palmer, is another favorite place.  Bighorn Sheep can often be seen on the grounds or in the cliffs near the castle. Who would expect a castle to be up in the mountains outside a city in Colorado?  I was completely enthralled by the romanticism and beauty of the place when I was younger.  I loved walking through the halls; exploring and imaging the history that had taken place there.  As a teenager, I even got to attend a wedding in the chapel of Glen Eyrie, which was almost too much for my romantic young heart to stand.  Located in Queen’s Canyon, Glen Eyrie is potentially right in the fire’s path.  If the unthinkable happens and the winds blow the fire into Queen’s Canyon, the canyon will act like a chimney and force the flames directly down the canyon with devastating consequences.
Mom, Amy, Jon, Me and Julie with Glen Eyrie Castle in the background
Flying W Ranch, a landmark tourist attraction where tourists and locals could go for an authentic Western Bar-B-Q dinner and cowboy music experience was destroyed yesterday by the fire.  I went there once with my mom and the man she was dating at the time, along with my boyfriend. I was a teenager and remember thinking the experience was cliché and completely uncool.  Still, it was a landmark, and hearing that it was destroyed broke my heart.


Watching and hearing about the devastation from afar is difficult.  I know I’m not the only one experiencing feelings of sadness, helplessness and mournfulness.  It’s all really hard to take in.  The pictures being posted on Facebook by friends and family look like those from a war zone.  I can’t imagine being there and literally watching parts of my home, my city, burn before my eyes.  I’m struck by how closely our emotions and memories are intertwined with places.  Seeing those places literally going up in smoke before your eyes is like having parts of your personal history destroyed.  It’s a very helpless, hopeless feeling.  Places that have been touchstones in my life, and the lives of my family, are up in flames.    


Hopefully, soon the forces of nature will let up and the firefighters and many others working to save lives and homes will have some success in containing the fire.  Until then, all I can do is watch, dumbfounded, and wait, and hope for the best.  

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Destiny


des·ti·ny n., 1. Something that is to happen or has happened to a particular person or thing; lot or fortune 2. The pre-determined, usu. Inevitable or irresistible, course of events 3. The power or agency that determines the course of events.

Some things that happen in life are so big they change us forever, permanently altering the direction and focus of our lives, changing our destiny.  At the time I didn’t realize it, but the day my sister died my destiny changed.  The power of her suicide and its aftermath was too great to ignore, so significant that it couldn’t help but fundamentally change me and my life’s direction.  Being an advocate for suicide prevention education and mental health awareness doesn't seem like a choice.  Experiencing my sister’s suicide feels made it inevitable that I would try to find some purpose behind her death and use my experiences as a survivor to help others. 
Mine isn't the only destiny that changed after the suicide of a loved one.  Over the weekend I helped at a golf tournament fundraiser for Miles of Hope, Inc., a foundation that raises money to assist military members and veterans.  Mark and Melanie Vigil started the foundation after their son Miles killed himself in November 2010.  Here’s a link  to a newspaper article that talks about Miles, his death, and how the Vigil’s are using his death to provide hope for others. http://www.standard.net/topics/service/2011/02/26/parents-soldier-killed-war-want-find-hope-his-death

The tournament was a success, with great support from many individuals and businesses.  Over $15,000 was raised! Sitting on the pavilion as golfers gathered for lunch I was struck by the love and support given so freely by so many.  I don’t know for sure, but I bet almost every person there knew Miles or was touched by his life in some way. I’m certain every single one of them would have done whatever was necessary to help save his life.  It reminded me of a poem someone recently shared with me.

“…We remember you.  Not as a soldier who fought a battle read about between the pages of our history book, not as a soldier who fought for his country for values and a way of life worth preserving.

We remember you as a soldier on the battlefield of life, valiantly struggling through your own personal war.  A war none of us were aware of.

All of us would have taken up arms for your cause.  We would have rallied, given muskets of courage, canons of patience, barrels of understanding, rifles loaded with love and compassion. 

But you didn’t let us know we needed to come to your aid.  We didn’t know you were on the battlefield all alone.  The dragons of despair, the monsters of melancholy, the shadows of stress and the presence of pressures. 

We would have slayed them, we have lessened their ability to lead you astray from a life full of hope, promise and love. 

Now we remember you, for you valiantly fought a battle only this family is vaguely aware of.  You were our soldier, our happy, carefree, confident companion.  

We wish we could have helped you, but this was one battle you had to fight by yourself.  We treasure our memories of you and of our times together.  We remember you with love, but most of all, we love you and remember you always. “ ~ Author Unknown


Who wouldn't take up arms and do whatever was necessary to slay the demons that torments a loved to the point of taking their own life?  I would have done anything in my power to save my sister's life.  Every person gathered together on Sunday to support Miles of Hope would have gladly done whatever it took to save Miles.  I'm certain of it.  


Mark, me and Melanie 
Sitting in the sun, surrounded by the sounds of laughter and music, watching so many gathered to support a common cause made me a little introspective and melancholy, wondering why all of us weren't given the chance to rally a little sooner.  Then the band started playing The Beatles "Don't Let Me Down".  It was too much.  I had to escape to the bathroom to cry.  The irony of that song, there, that day, reminded me of how suicide lets so many people down.  As I took deep breaths to calm myself I realized there was another way to look at it.  My sister, like so many others, gave her life in a battle with mental illness.  I can't let her down. I won't let her death be in vain. Together with other survivors like Mark, Melanie and their family, we'll find hope and meaning from tragedy, helping each other heal while at the same time providing hope, healing and support to others.  


Me and Melanie




Monday, May 28, 2012

Crevé




Crevé - French for broken
My brother Jonathan's tattoo for Julie. 
Two years.  731 days.  17, 544 hours.  That's how long it's been since Julie decided to end her life and broke the hearts of so many.  Back then I didn't know how I'd be able to live with such constant heartbreak.  Mercifully, I've learned that broken hearts heal and life goes on.  Today I'll think of Julie with sorrow, along with joy, love and laughter. I'm certain I'll also cry floods of great big, burning tears.  I know many others will also cry for her today because she truly was a delight.  


I love and miss you sis.  


"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." ~ Kahlil Gibran



Mason and Aunt Julie

Julie and Phoenix

Hangin' at Amy's

Julie planking before it was cool

Julie poolside - July 4, 2008

Julie and Jason

Sister Time

Dad and Julie

Running the Boulder Backroads Marathon with Amy


Julie and Amy celebrating their Moab 1/2 Marathon finish

Too cool for school


Joni, Homer Simpson and Julie

Cousins

Who doesn't remember this look?  

Julie and Hannah


Jon and Julie


Julie and Cristy